Jun 17

Long Time No See!


Long time since I last posted…. 3 years….
Can’t say a lot has happened but there have been a few major and minor events.

Some of the notables have been selling the old car and buying a new one, doing so has added on repayments but has also saved me a lot on fuel, registration and insurance costs. Fuel economy has gone from around 12L/100km in the old car to around 7L/100km. Overall a better cost. The new car is a VW Polo “Beats” edition, middle range in the Polo series it’s still quite zippy being a small car and IMHO actually handles better on the road than the old one even tho that was more of a sports car. But the best thing about the new car is the sound, “Beats” edition features a factory sound system designed with Dr Dre and the Beats branding. Main feature being the spare wheel has been replaced with a decent Sub Woofer. Full smart head unit with SD card and DVD drive for storing music on as well as android/iphone integration and sat-nav. How good is the sound? Well since getting this car we had to completely re-do our music collection, the audio is so clear and wide range that all our old MP3 files now sounded flat and you could hear the compression. So we have now re-encoded all out CD’s into FLAC format (“Free Lossless Audio Codec”) and WOW, Awesome sound! We now go for long drives just to hear the music! 😀

Other majors has been a few project on my list getting completed:

  • The Workshed was completed as a place for me to do Man-Cave things and build projects.
  • Enclosed Veranda had finally been completed, something I’ve wanted since moving into here.
  • Web server machine had been updated and is due for another move.
  • My local NAS storage is now on a newer DELL server, I now get all 7TB of storage. ( need to move the websites over here as well but that’s still to-do.

Other minors have been done and forgotten over the years, nothing particularly notable other than ongoing studies in Unity3D and C# programming.

Why have I not posted for so long? Well, many reasons, mostly lack of self-confidence, depression and all that. I don’t do social very well. Machines, computers, animals, etc I handle fine, I’m very logical in my thinking. People I don’t handle well, some I’m fine with but most just come across to me as illogical and frustrating. Its an issue I’ve had pretty much all my life and its fed other issues such as anger management and depression. Late 2016 this anger and poor stress management led to a chain of health issues and resulted in my blood pressure reaching over 220/150… ended up in hospital 3 times while they tried to figure out why. Even aver a years worth of testing we still don’t have a medical cause.  So mostly I’ve been hiding in my shell, trying to ignore the world and just do what I have to do. Not a great solution but has worked for keeping me calm. My BP has been kept “ok” by mainly diet, mental changes and BP medication, although the latter has recently been less effective. Seems I’m sensitive to Salt, too much and up the BP goes, my limit seems to be about 1-2 grams per day. Other things are drinking enough water and avoiding alcohol, too much sugar and the like.
So yeah, not a great life but won’t complain as there other out there that have it much worse. I’m still alive, have a home to live in, a great partner and all my toys. Sure I only earn around $30k/year despite what I know and can do, but I don’t really have much in debt either so is money that important? I don’t think so. 

Starting to pull myself out of the rut now with the help of some wins building my positivity, but it’s going to be a long road. One of these wins have been the Pergola build being a big success. I’ve also been invited into a D&D group with a few friends and this has been helping the social side of my complicated persona. The Workshed got completely cluttered up over the last few years so I’ve been getting that cleaned out and part of the clean-out is to actually THROW OUT junk that has no use. I do suffer hoarding tendencies, with a lot of thought like “I could use that for something”. Yeah well no, if It does not have an immediate use or a direct use with a project on the short-list then out it goes. Clean up like this is hard but does help the mental state too, clutter is never healthy!

So probably enough mental gibberish for one post here, I have started to build up drafts for some of the projects in the workshed so those will be appearing here soon as well. I also have promised a friend that I’ll do a post on techniques for 3D-printing centered around printing small figurines, so keep and eye out for that. Coming soon ™.

As always, Thanks for reading!

  • Radan.
Nov 09

My new website!


For some time now my girlfriend (a very active blogger) has been pestering me to start up my own blog site, so here it is!

I’ve never been much of a vocal person, previous websites have been plain and simple without many updates. The only thing I updated regularly was the photo gallery… I’m hoping with this site to be more active and refresh the content more often.

I’m doing this for many reasons, mainly to push through some changes in my own self being, as the problems with being too reserved is that I’ve missed many opportunities and have fallen behind in many projects. I’ve always believed that I can do anything I set my mind to and still do believe, but in the past I’ve not done things for the irrational fear of sticking my neck out too far and getting it cut off or upsetting others by my actions. Basically I’ve always tried too hard to avoid conflicts at my own expense… ( in some cases causing conflicts by avoiding others! )

So hopefully with this site and other changes I’m making to my personality and activities in life I can bring about more positive results for myself and those I around me. I’ve realised that I must act to achieve the things I want in life before they become out of reach. At 35 years old I have missed too much but can still achieve a lot if I act now.

The first 2 posts I’ve made when setting this site up are from my old website, as I work on this blog I’ll no doubt post more such thoughts, dreams or strange experiences. I also hope to integrate a working gallery of some sort, similar to what I had on the old sites, but for now I’ve put a few up for the sidebar random pics.

Other directions for this blog (which may change over time) will be about my hobbies such as the computer programs I work on, games I play both online and offline and indeed my photography.

So keep an eye on me, don’t expect daily updates but I should be able to make something fairly regular. Indeed feel free to prod me as always people trying to change their life need to be reminded of their commitments. This is why I’m linking this new blog to the changes I want to make in my life, by committing myself before others to make changes I become accountable for them, no longer can I hide inside myself from the world. So here I am, taking my big step forward, committing myself to continue this momentum and achieve something good in life.

Thankyou for visiting my blog and I hope to see more and contribute more as time goes on.

Oct 28

Meaning of Life?

Do you believe in the human spirit? The life-force of a person or object? Either way, read on because what follows could change the way you look at the world, or maybe reinforce what you already believe…

Most people believe that positive is good and negative is bad, for energies I believe the opposite, that negative is good and positive is bad. For example, an energy source such as a battery, the negative terminal gives out electrons which are negatively charged, while the positive terminal takes them away. Free energy devices work on the theory of doing away with the positive terminal and reusing these electrons over and over. Positively charged air ions hold dust, smoke and other contaminants up into the air we breath, they cause us to feel drowsy and breath in these particles, causing asthma etc. A negative ion generator gives out electrons into the air, neutralizing these positive ions and cleaning the air by causing the particles to fall to the ground, making us feel better and breath cleaner. It is also known than a atom is made up of a nucleus (a collection of positive protons, and neutral neutrons), and negative electrons. If the number of neutrons and protons are not the same, we have an unstable atom with is usually radioactive, dangerous and eventually burns-out. If the electrons are added or taken away we have a positive ion (less electrons than protons) or a negative ion (more electrons than protons).Now the Belief:-

I believe there is a infinite force of “spiritual” energy that surrounds, binds and is the whole universe. This “life-force” of the universe holds all things in existence, from the tiniest atom to the largest galaxy. Like all forms of energy it exists in three states, Positive, Negative and Neutral. Lesser life forms such as plants, animals, birds, etc., even humans, each have their own life-force that is simply a concentration or “focus” of the universal life-force. When a human life is created, a small amount of this life-force is taken from the planet and focussed to form a new life-force. This child then absorbs more spiritual energy throughout it’s life from new experiences. This energy can be negatively charged in the form of good experiences, positively charged from bad, or neutrally charged. When a person is overbalanced in bad energy, they may be overcome and turn into a bad person, possibly causing other bad energy. A person with good energy may become a good person, or a neutrally experienced person could be simply stable. Autonomous life-forms such as us can also convert this energy by our thoughts, actions or emotions. A good person can decide to do something bad, resulting in bad energy being given out, and vice-versa. When we die, this life-force is released and is absorbed back into the planet to be used over. Sometimes a persons spirit remains in focus after they die, usually because of an unrest causing the focus to remain intact. This results in a wandering spirit or “ghost” and because this ghost is the collection of the persons experiences , it often still remembers its past life. When the cause of the unrest is removed, the spirit is then released back into the life-stream. Past-life experiences or memories could be a small amount of a deceased persons life-force, absorbed into a new life before it is fully broken down. People with the ability to predict things that they wouldn’t normally know, such as the past of a stranger, or even the future, are simply those who can tune into the persons, or even the planets life-stream, just like a radio, and interpret these vibes. Controlling events by simple thought is a matter of focusing this energy to your will. All forms are created, exist and die in a similar way, all with this universal life-force, even planets, stars and galaxies.

I believe that if this energy of our planet becomes too much positively charged by bad energies, the planet itself will become overbalanced, resulting in an explosion of all its life-forces, even those in use, just like a nuclear bomb, causing the death of all life, maybe even the planet itself. This could even be what happened to the dinosaurs, the planet became overbalanced and died, all its life-force exploding, dissipating and eventually reforming in a new, neutral existence, starting life all over again. All in a natural cycle, birth, life, death and then starting over again, on all scales beings, planets, stars, even galaxies, think about it.

With this in mind, as we look around the world, with all it’s wars, violence, hate and more people losing sight of love and happiness, we see that more people are becoming overwhelmed by all this bad energy, and slowly becoming influenced by it, often turning them also into bad people and adding to the problem. More and more adding a positive charge to the life-force of our planet, maybe eventually causing an imbalance and a disastrous result of death. The end of the world. Judgment day, as some people call it, causing all bad energies (or as some say, people, sinners) to be destroyed (punished?). Think about it.

For those who believe, do not despair, there is a way. All we need to do is live a little happier, love a little more and believe in hope. By doing this we can create good energies, just like a negative ion generator does to the air, neutralizing the bad, positive energy and stabilizing nature, even helping to influence others to do the same. So as you can see, a little bit of love, happiness and hope can go a long way to fight evil, and maybe we can all live a little happier and live a little longer. It is obvious to me, that if enough people can be happy and love each other, we can create a happier world as we convert others to do the same. Maybe, eventually, stopping the wars, the violence and hate which, one way or another, will cause our demise.

– Radan 19th February, 1998. From a dream.